I never thought that my first post would be a heavy discussion on this topic. It has been 4 days since the incident that happened in the night shift of the pediatric emergency department on May 18th, however, I still have not come out from the shadow, and every time I think of it, my heart aches with pain, for myself and even more so for that poor little child. That little baby came to the hospital during the day for infusion treatment for a febrile convulsion, and at night she had a fever of 38 degrees Celsius again. The parents correctly gave the baby oral antipyretics immediately and brought the baby to the hospital for a follow-up appointment. Mom, dad, grandma and probably one of dad’s friends came to the clinic with him. At that time, the baby’s mental state is very good, has been sweating, our advice is to wait for the sweat to evaporate the child’s body temperature can be reduced to normal, so there is no need to deal with for the time being, the baby’s mom and grandma is very cooperative, but the father repeatedly stressed that you must ensure that the child is no longer convulsions, you must immediately give the child a cure, and if the baby is convulsing again, he will beat me to death, so that I will never do it again. He pointed his finger at my nose and cursed the worst words, his finger less than 1 centimeter from the tip of my nose. Poor me didn’t even realize he was drunk at first, I just thought he loved his daughter until the baby’s grandmother and mother repeatedly apologized and told me he had been drinking. Then he repeatedly came in and out of the clinic and threatened me repeatedly. His family and friends tried unsuccessfully to stop him. In my 7 years of practice, I have always treated every child as my own baby, patiently explaining to the parents, and no parent has ever complained about me. So I was totally unprepared and remained calm as I attended to the children who came after me. But soon I was afraid. The hospital security guard arrived in time to stop him, and in his drunken state, he started to fight with the security guard. If it hadn’t been for the security guards, I would have been the one who got hurt! It would have been me! We called the police. It was the first time I called the police, and I hope it will be the last. The police came and took him away. An hour later it was already 11 o’clock at night, and the emergency children were basically dealt with, so I was able to take a short break of 4 hours to work shifts with my colleagues. It was exhausting and tiring, but the fear trumped the exhaustion. The intense stress reaction left me with chest tightness and panic attacks and severe abdominal pain. I cried out in pain. Next, I called my husband, no reply, my husband works just as hard and sleeps at night with his cell phone on silent without noticing my call, but dreamed that I woke up early in the morning crying due to my illness, which is a kind of telepathy. Then I began to inform colleagues in the WeChat group, colleagues have to comfort, in the late night, probably the only group of us who need to work the night shift can comfort each other, warm each other. Gradually my mood calmed down. Colleagues that saying is good: every emergency small doctor’s life has a rowdy drunkard. I was relieved that I was not at fault, and if I was, I was nearly injured because I did not recognize the danger in time to retreat. Three hours later, the abdominal pain subsided and sleepily I closed my eyes. It was probably only ten minutes before I woke up with a start because I was dreaming about that little sufferer crying. Thinking back to the time, Baby’s dad was in the middle of a fight with the security guards, and Baby was crying loudly in terror, yelling “Daddy! Daddy!” How hurt Baby’s little heart was! I was silently praying that Baby wouldn’t have a feverish seizure this time, and hoping that no accidents would occur due to fear! In fact, I didn’t even know baby’s name. During the day, he was seen by a colleague, and at night, he was seen by a colleague who worked with me. I explained to him because I realized that he couldn’t understand my colleague’s words. I have also forgotten what Baby and his family looked like, but Baby’s heartbreaking cries are something I cannot forget in this life! That drunken dad, I’m sure when he was sober he was a reasonable person and must have loved his baby girl deeply. It was only because of the paralysis of alcohol that he temporarily lost his normal judgment, so I chose to forgive. After becoming a mother, I began to understand every mood of the parents, I do not complain, I forgive every kind of verbal injury. However, I can’t forgive the physical injuries because I can’t hide them from my family, and I don’t want my family to see me lying in a hospital bed, suffering from heartache. I don’t know when I can really come out of the shadow, and I don’t know if that baby is cured now, if she will wake up from her dreams crying in terror and calling out for her daddy! I don’t know how many parents are able to read my words, and for those of you who are lucky enough to be able to read this, please be sure to tell the people around you: don’t let drunken parents bring their babies to the doctor! Because this may hurt the doctor, hurt the doctor every day for his fear of family; the same more likely to hurt his beloved baby, the young heart can not withstand this kind of pain!