When you are with children who are experiencing difficulties, these can be referred to Five to 1. If necessary and possible, a lot of physical contact: for children, at this stage, in shock, during acute reactions, during major events, after a few seconds or within a few hours for months, do not hesitate to physical contact. But if the child has a refusal, do not force; 2. first use the language of everyday greeting, to build a relationship of trust and open the possibility of talking about it; simple, colloquial and even repeatable in a very normal way, “are you cold, what did you have for lunch”; 3. gifts: chocolates, paintbrush and paper; nutritional supplements; to build If you have time and are allowed to, give the child a way to express: special channels of communication, drawing, telling fairy tales; 5. say goodbye: if you need my help in the future, you can still come to me, I am there when you are sad. Can provide a unified phone number or address. Ten don’t 1. don’t cheat. If the child’s parents have died, still lie to him; 2. Do not promise what he can not do. Do not say things like “I will help you find your parents”; 3. Do not force him to remember or talk. For example, do not say “it does not matter, you say it”; 4. Do not “interfere” with his emotions roughly, such as “do not cry”, “be brave “, “Go ahead and cry!” Don’t try to replace his parents by not saying “it’s okay, we love you”, which will make the child feel like he is betraying his parents; 7. Don’t give excessively, which may cause dependency, anger or feeling of being given away. Don’t think you are the savior, don’t think you are the only one who can help him, let him find a way to heal first and activate everyone’s ability to heal themselves; 9. Don’t cause them to feel guilty. A common confusion of survivor syndrome is: Why did all my classmates die. Don’t say “You’re lucky!” “You’re already better off than everyone else!” Don’t say things like that. Don’t be curious about what the child has been through. Even if we love the child, we can’t control our curiosity because it can cause “secondary damage.