Stress is a painful experience triggered by life events and cognitive biases together. People’s stress during social transition comes from various aspects such as pressure of study, pressure of work, pressure of family, pressure of society, pressure of environment, etc. Long-term stress can cause people to suffer from psychosomatic diseases such as primary hypertension, coronary heart disease, gastric and duodenal ulcers, bronchial asthma, etc. as well as weaken brain function, reduce work efficiency, reduce quality of life, and even suffer and live like years.
Stress will be hidden in the heart of negative emotions will accumulate, once the outbreak of consequences will be very serious. There was a big traffic jam in San Francisco, the United States, a man waiting impatiently, emotionally out of control, jumped from the car, shot and killed 12 innocent people. In the eyes of social behaviorists, not because of traffic jams let him shoot to kill, but the past pressure did not get timely relief, traffic jams are only the fuse to detonate the pressure. Therefore, the usual timely relief of stress, in order to live a healthy life, common methods of psychological stress reduction are.
(1) learn to confide in
In this world, each of us may suffer from a variety of family, work and social pressure and even to bear countless aggression. If all the grievances, misfortunes, misery and worries, are on the heart, do not communicate with others, not to family, colleagues, friends, a long time has been unbalanced psychological imbalance is likely to become completely unbalanced, become pessimistic, depressed, self-blame, the longer the accumulation of the more difficult to bear.
Confession is a relief, confide in the balance of inner feelings and external stimuli, so you can not be buried deep in the heart, but should be these worries to your trusted, cool-headed, understanding people to confide in. This will not only enable you to get rid of confusion as soon as possible, but will also become a link to each other’s feelings and ignite hope in your heart. Share your happiness with others, you will get two happiness; confide your worries to others, you will reduce half of your worries. In other words, one joy told to a friend becomes two joys; one pain told to a friend becomes half a pain.
Once upon a time, there were two scholars who were on their way to the capital to take an examination, but they met a funeral procession. One of them thought, “It’s bad luck to meet a dead person on the way to the examination. The mood was immediately depressed. The other one thought, “It’s great that I met a coffin on my way out, so if I don’t get promoted and get rich, who will? I will definitely win this exam! His spirit was immediately refreshed. As a result, the one who was full of “bad luck” and “bad luck” really failed in the exam, while the one who was thinking about “official” and “wealth” really did. “The one who is really the best.
Some students scored 60 points, happy to say that I passed; some students scored 99 points but sadly fell into tears, saying where I was wrong? So, Fan Wei once said: how can the gap between being a person be so big?
It seems that the problem itself is not the problem, how to look at the problem is the real problem.
Smile, a decade less. It’s not about age, it’s about mindset. Laugh often, and your health will always be there. Laughing is very useful, and we all have this instinct, so why not laugh? The English poet Shelley said: “A smile, indeed, is a symbol of benevolence, a source of joy, a medium of closeness to others. With laughter, human feelings are communicated.”
(2) Learning to listen.
To listen is to understand, to appreciate, to listen is a help. What was the reason for an American who had a frightening but great disaster on a plane to go home and kill himself instead?
It was a Christmas, an American man in order to reunite with his family, rushed from a foreign country to home by plane. On the way, he imagined the joyful scene of reunion. The plane was caught in a violent storm in the air, and the plane was off course, bouncing up and down, with the possibility of crashing anytime, anywhere. At this point, everyone on the plane was praying, that is, this critical moment, the plane in the pilot’s calm driving finally landed safely, so everyone was relieved.
The American man returned home unusually excited, and kept describing to his wife the plane encountered a dangerous situation, and all around the house, screaming, shouting …… However, his wife is excited to share the joy of the holiday with the children, the thrill of his experience without the slightest interest, the man shouted for a while, but found no one to listen to him, he The great joy of survival and being left out of the mood of a strong contrast, in his wife to prepare the cake, the American man climbed up to the attic, hanged the old way to end his precious life. The American man’s wife did not learn to listen, which led to the tragedy.
There was a beautiful nurse in a hospital in Xi’an, 1.78 meters tall, exceptionally good-looking, with the body and temperament of a star, and usually very sunny. One day she approached her department director and said she was particularly depressed and asked him to give herself psychological counseling. The director thought she was flirting and said you’re such a sunny girl, what can you be worried about, go ahead! After a few days. Who knows that the next day the beautiful nurse took an overdose of hypnotic drugs and died by suicide. Afterwards the director especially regret and blame themselves, if in time to listen to this nurse, perhaps the tragedy will not happen.
Friends need to communicate with each other, more need to listen! When you are confiding in, but found no one is listening, this pain, no doubt a great blow! Know how to listen, not only caring, understanding, but also to regulate the relationship between the two sides of the lubricant, everyone has a desire after the trouble and joy, that is, to confide in people, he hopes that the listener can give understanding and approval.
(3) Learn to do more good deeds
Do good deeds, get happy and balance the psyche. Do good deeds, get comfort inside, feel solid; others respond, they get encouragement, happy mood.
When others need help, extend your hand and give a care to others. Kindness is the best quality. You can’t love everyone, but you try to be friendly with everyone. It is often the case in life that the convenience of others will also bring convenience to yourself. Helping others can sublimate yourself. When you give someone herbs, your hands will smell good; when you give someone roses, your heart will smell good. Love life, enjoy life, give to give yourself will also have joy. As long as everyone does something good, everyone gives a little love, the world will become a beautiful earth!
The feeling of pleasure and energy surge that can be generated when helping others. When you sincerely help others, you will have a very happy feeling inside, which will help you reduce stress and improve your health. Giving “material” help to others can reduce the mortality rate by 42%; giving moral support to others can reduce the mortality rate by 30%.
In short, helping others can elevate you.
(4) Learn to be grateful
The kindness of a drop of water must be repaid with a spring. Gratitude is to express gratitude for the help given by others. Gratitude is a philosophy in the world and a great wisdom in life.
Learn to be grateful for what you already have, and be thankful for the gifts life has given you. This way you will have a positive outlook on life and always have a healthy mindset. Gratitude is another kind of tolerance, another kind of consideration. Your father and mother have given to you for many years without wanting to be paid.
Why should people be grateful? Because gratitude enables you to run happily to success. Gratitude is something that can make what is in your favor double and repeat itself. Gratitude is a virtue, it is even a wisdom. A person who does not know how to be thankful is still a poor person even if he has a lot of money; a person who knows how to be thankful and repay the kindness is the richest person in the world.
Former U.S. President Roosevelt’s house was burglarized and many things were stolen. When a friend heard about it, he wrote a letter to comfort him and advised him not to care too much. Roosevelt immediately wrote back to his friend: “Dear friend, thank you for your letter to comfort me, I am now at peace. Thank God: for first, the thief stole my things without harming my life; second, the thief stole only part of my things, not all of them; and third, most thankfully, it was he who did the thieving, not me.” While it is absolutely unfortunate for any person to lose a theft, Roosevelt identified three reasons for gratitude. Use our greatest patience to tolerate and forgive, and let everything that is not good become good, happy and vivid under our influence. So be thankful, let’s live hard, let’s live happily. Don’t let complaints take over our lives and waste our lives, maybe so that we won’t regret our lives. It’s your luck that someone helps you, it’s your just fate that no one helps you, no one should do anything for you because life is your own, you have to be responsible for yourself.
Having a grateful heart fills us with gratitude for the past, the future and the present! Gratitude for our hometown, parents, friends and relatives, teachers and leaders, colleagues and fellow travelers on the road of life. This is called love out of the love to return, blessing to the blessing to come, spread positive energy, have positive thinking, positive energy! What you share will be harvested!
(5) Learn to let go
People’s troubles are often because they can’t let go, can’t think, can’t forget!
Learning to let go is a kind of wisdom of life. Able to let go, is a spiritual learning. Let go of pressure, live easy; let go of worry, live happy; let go of inferiority, live confident; let go of laziness, live full; let go of negativity, live successful; let go of complaints, live comfortable; let go of hesitation, live dashing; let go of narrow-mindedness, live free …… Only when it is time to put down, we can free up our hands to grab the real belongings You have to be able to let go of your hand and grab the joy and happiness that really belongs to you.
When it comes to the cloth bag monk perhaps no one does not know, he carried a cloth bag, smiling mouth, travel all over the north and south, but no one knows where he came from, where to go? About him, there is a very interesting little poem: walking also cloth bag, sitting also cloth bag. Put down the cloth bag, how free. Once, monk Po-fu met monk Bu-bu, and heard that he had a very high practice, so he went up to ask for advice. The monk asked the monk: “What is the great meaning of Buddhism?” The monk did not answer, just put down the sack and stood with his arms crossed. Then the monk asked, “Is that all? Or is there a deeper meaning?” The monk picked up the sack and walked away.
First, he had to let go of his own obstacles and obsessions before he could carry a greater responsibility and burden. The word cloth bag can be interpreted as a burden, as a worry! If you feel troubled even when walking and troubled even when sitting, then you should let go of your worries so that you can be relaxed and at ease! Put down the baggage in your heart and run to a better tomorrow!
(6) Learn to face loss
Sometimes, loss is not sadness, but a beauty; loss is not necessarily loss, but also may be dedication. As long as we have a positive and enterprising mindset, loss can become lovely.
A man was sitting on the deck of a ship reading a newspaper. A sudden gust of wind scraped his newly bought hat off into the sea. He touched his head with his hand, looked at the falling flying hat, and continued to read the newspaper. A man next to him was puzzled: “Sir, your hat was scraped into the sea!”” Got it, thanks!” He still continued to read the newspaper. What is lost is already lost, so why make a fuss about it or hold on to it?
An old man on a high-speed train accidentally dropped one of his brand-name shoes from the window. The people around him were all sorry for the loss. Unexpectedly, the old man immediately threw the second shoe out of the window as well. Here’s the thing,” the old man explained, “this one shoe, no matter how expensive, is of no use to me. If anyone can pick up a pair of shoes, maybe he can still wear them.” Obviously, the old man’s behavior has already had a value judgment, rather than holding on to the scraps, or giving them up if they are broken. Sometimes, the value of things does not lie in who possesses them, but in how they are possessed, the value of use exists or not.
Two friends once traveled together, and when they were about to return their wallets were missing, one person then searched the places they had been and asked many people, and found nothing. The other one, after finding no money to go home, did not regret, but only considered how to get the money to travel home. He went into a restaurant, explained the situation, washed the dishes for the restaurant all morning, earned enough money for the two to travel home, and made friends with the owner. All this time, he always said, “With so little time to travel and so many interesting things to do, where is the time to worry about losing a wallet.” My friend spoke the language of a philosopher, there are many things to do in life, why should we be sad about a little loss? Life is a drama, why should you care too much about gains and losses!
(7) Adjusting expectations
Emotion is an attitude, negative or positive, that a person shows toward the objective world. When needs are met, people will behave with glee; when needs are not met, they will be disappointed, lament, or even sigh long and short, and tears will fall like rain. See a famous psychological formula: emotional index = realization value / expectation value. One of the most basic characteristics of the fraction is that the larger the denominator, the smaller the value of the fraction, that is, the greater the expectations, the smaller the emotional index, where the “smaller”, which is often referred to as “worry” and “bitterness “. Conversely, if you adjust your expectations in time to make them smaller, the value of the score will immediately become larger.
Why is there pain? There is pain because the expectations are too high! Once a fish wants to become a butterfly, it suffers. A devotee said, “Master, what should I do if my child is too poor in reading?” The master replied, “Just be good.” Another person then asked, “What should I do if my child is not good at reading and is not well-behaved?” The master then said, “It is good to have.”
So, don’t be overly hard on yourself. To avoid frustration, one should set goals within one’s ability. Don’t expect too much from others; everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, and you can’t force others to meet your requirements.
(8) Establish an effective social support system
”Family is a haven” and “A good man has three helpers” are philosophies of social life that reveal the impact of social support on one’s psychological balance. In other words, the understanding and support of family and friends can not only help people share their pain, but also stop them from feeling the despair of loneliness, so it is important to establish the necessary social support network.
Consciously maintaining an ever-happy state of mind is a science of health and an art of living. Everyone’s happiness is in his or her own hands, and everyone is the scriptwriter, director and actor of his or her own life.
What can be said clearly in reality is the truth, and what cannot be said clearly is life. If you have to say everything clearly in a family, nine times out of ten you don’t want to live. Why do people suffer? It is because of staring at others’ and forgetting what they have. Counting is the beginning of life’s pain, and is bound to live a very tired life. The sun will not rise tomorrow because of your disappointment; the moon will not fall tonight because of your complaints. The world is a dark place when you blindfold yourself; when you blindfold others, it is not the same as the light belongs to you.
The best way to be happy is to be kind to yourself, to be kind to others, to be happy, to be kind to life, to be healthy. Life is only 30,000 days, success and failure are open, right and wrong grudges do not care, health and happiness is the most valuable.
Life just won’t go as planned, so why force yourself. You can do your best, no matter what the outcome is. The unpleasant past is folded and collected in the corner where no one is. Tell yourself; I can not be perfect, but must be true; I can not be rich, but must be happy!
(9) Taste “give and take”
”Give and take” is the essence of Chinese civilization for thousands of years. Give and take, first give and take; can “give” can “get”; big give and take, small give and take, no give and take, give up in things, get in the heart; give up in profit, get in righteousness. The blessing of life is to give and take. Give and take is a kind of dash, a realm, a kind of love, a kind of generosity, a kind of boldness, which is in harmony with the psychological balance. To be a human being, you have to know how to give and take. You can’t live the life of the Eight Rings, but you want the body of the Monkey.
Life is always a constant give-and-take. Get happy, lose worries; pick up happiness, throw away sadness; no matter how you want to choose in the future, the most important thing is to be able to face happily, and constantly adjust to achieve psychological balance.
Gou践臥薪尝胆, Han Xin跨下受辱, Tao Yuanming采菊东蓠, Lin Zexu虎门销烟 …… historical figures in the give and take between the achievement of a thousand years of greatness, and today countless give and take between the wonderful masterpiece is also being staged. The person who knows how to feel at ease can find ease, the person who knows how to forget can find freedom, the person who knows how to care can find friends.
Health is not everything, but without health there is nothing. People this life, how are over. Don’t be too cold in winter, don’t be too hot in summer. Don’t pretend to be poor if you have money, don’t be rich if you don’t have money. Rather than frowning and locking, it is better to steal the joy. Leisurely nourish your body, find fun every day. Bitter, spicy, sour and sweet have tasted, only then it was not a waste of life. Do not look forward to, nor look back; can put down the past future, in order to live freely; the moment is everything. The thing is that you don’t need everyone to understand, you don’t need everyone to like. Your own life is your own master, your future, others will not pay for you.
So as long as the courage to have a dream, dare to follow the dream, diligent in the dream, we will always be young! Never move to say you are old and misguide yourself! Youth is power, and if you have a dream, you have a future!
In short, from the sinking of the South Korean passenger ship “Year” to Malaysia Airlines MH370 lost contact, and then tracked to the Chengdu 9 bus burning life insights: this life can actually be short, sometimes a thought with the same as the Chengdu 9 bus, the door closed, an open, one stop past; door closed, not open, a lifetime on past. Two eyes open, the future is within reach; two legs a stomp, everything is the past. 10,000 years is too long, it’s just a matter of time! Love life, enjoy life.
(10) Sunshine mentality
The differences between people are originally very small, but this small difference, resulting in huge differences in the future. This tiny difference is the mindset is positive or negative, this huge difference is success and failure. Put your face to the sun, then there will be no shadow! Liu Xiang has speed, Yao Ming has height, what do we have? Only a learning and doing attitude. Positive mindset like the sun shines where it is bright, negative mindset like the moon is not the same as the first 15.
Seeing changes emotions will change. There is no tragedy and comedy in the world, if you can come out of the tragedy, it is a comedy, if you dwell in the comedy, it is a tragedy. A positive person sees an opportunity in every worry, while a negative person sees a worry in every opportunity.
Why should I smile at all times? A: Dissolve tension, relax, relieve pain, increase people’s popularity, and more likely to succeed! There was a lady named Jenny who went to the recruitment of United Airlines. She did not have any special relationship, and she fought entirely on her own merits. She was accepted for the reason that she always had a smile on her face. Later, the personnel manager smiled and said to Jenny, “I would rather hire a girl with a cute smile who didn’t finish high school than a PhD in management with a hard face. Miss, your greatest capital is the smile on your face.”
When Miss Mary opened the door, she found a man with a knife staring at her viciously. Mary had an idea and said with a smile, “My friend, you are so funny! You’re selling kitchen knives, right? I like, I want one,” said the man into the house, and then said: “You are very much like a kind neighbor of mine in the past, it is really good to see you, you want coffee or tea,” originally with a murderous face of the thug slowly became coy. He stammered a bit and said, “Thanks, oh, thanks!” Finally, Mary really buy the shiny kitchen knife, the strange man looked at the money hesitantly walked away, in turning away, she said: “Miss, you will change my life!” Yes, a smile is tolerance, a smile is strength; a smile is happiness, a smile is great love! Mary’s smile, both to protect themselves from the strange man’s harm, but also to give the strange man the opportunity to choose again; both forgiving the strange man’s reckless behavior, but also to give the strange man about life’s enlightenment. Mary’s smile will undoubtedly make the strange man epiphany, giving him the confidence and strength to do it again.
Smile is the sunshine; smile is the universal language; smile is the lubricant of human interaction; smile is the bridge of communication; smile is a cost-free investment …… people when the most beautiful? It is when a smile appears on the face! Smile can shorten the distance between people, resolve the embarrassing deadlock, can make others from the first minute to see you, a natural sense of security, a sense of affection, a sense of pleasure. Smile can dissolve indifference and hatred, is the “catalyst” for career success, is the driving force to overcome difficulties. People can’t live without smiling faces, without smiling, otherwise the world will become boring and dull.
Smile is the most basic human action. Smile, like the first bloom of a bud. Sincerity and kindness, in the smile overflowing with the fragrance of touching the heart. The elegance of a smile contains a rich connotation. It is a power to stimulate imagination and enlighten wisdom. In good times, a smile is a tribute to success. In adversity, smile is the physical therapy for trauma. A smile is tolerance, understanding, confidence and strength.
Of course, the smile is gold, its most valuable connotation is sincerity. Smile is a seed, whoever sows a smile will harvest beauty. A smile is a virtue that trumps all body language and words. Be misunderstood when you can smile slightly, literacy; aggrieved when you can smile openly, generosity; suffer a loss when you can smile happily, open-minded; helpless when you can smile optimistically, the realm; distress when you can smile calmly, atmosphere; contempt when you can smile calmly, confident; lost love when you can smile gently, spontaneous. Only people with a sunny mindset can do it with a smile. Are you smiling today?