Learn to listen to your anger – Psychologist Jennifer Reiner says, “Anger is an appropriate emotion in stressful and frightening situations. Anger is not a bad thing. In fact, anger is more beneficial to one’s health than fear.” Of course, prolonged explosive anger or holding a hostile mood toward the outside world is bad for health. Too often, we not only refuse to bear the anger of others, but we also do not want to express our anger. In fact, anger can be expressed if it is done in the right way. The key is to find a balance between holding back and allowing anger to flare up more strongly. There is no doubt that recognizing your own needs and learning to express anger is a way to build healthier relationships with others. Three Steps to Anger “There is always pain hidden behind the anger,” according to Oster, “but it is also foolish to lose your temper indiscriminately.” One must learn to vent this energy of disappointment outward. When anger comes, try the following “three steps to anger”: 1, distraction When sudden anger on the mind, verbal hysteria can only make the situation worse. The most critical thing at this point is to remain calm. This is not easy, but you can try: meditate from 1 to 10; go to an unoccupied place to shout; hit the pillow tearing pieces of paper, etc., to divert attention; or call a good friend to confide in a good. Only restrain the instant emotional reaction to the stimulus, you can enter the following more rational link. 2, clear your mind Noticed? Sometimes just a small, insignificant thing, you can become angry, angry. What exactly ignites the anger in your heart? Try asking yourself these questions – did you feel hurt? Did he/she do it intentionally or unintentionally? “Someone else must have done it on purpose”, are you sure you didn’t make a mistake? Is it because you are too sensitive? Is the situation really so serious that you are furious? Is there a way to solve the problem without getting angry? What exactly are you trying to achieve by yelling? To make the other person intimidated, or hope to communicate with him? …… Gosh, you can’t answer these questions if you’re in a rage. However, you should try to answer these questions. Only then will you know what to do next. Anger tells us that someone else has done bad things to us or that our inner desires cannot be met. We must listen to our anger because it helps us to keep our personality intact. A hidden tolerance may allow anger to explode more strongly, the key is to find a balance point. 3, express dissatisfaction Once you feel that you have controlled your emotions, you can express your feelings. But please note that to be sincere, and do not lower their principles. Psychologist Thomas Gordon (ThomasGordon) recommended a method for us: say how you feel, but not from the standpoint of others. Say with the other person which behavior makes you feel dissatisfied: “When you ……” ;Say how you feel: “I feel ……” ;Share your expectations with the other person: “I wish it could be like this because ……” ;Express what you need now and explain why: “I asked you to …… It’s because ……” , etc. Your goal is to rediscover the balance in the relationship. Only by finding ways to fix your relationship can you truly achieve your goal and allow each person to retain their integrity. “The benefit of expressing anger is much more than just getting out,” says Auster, “It’s valuable in rebuilding your relationship with yourself and yourself and yourself with others.” So a nice little outburst of anger will bring us back to harmony.