What should parents tell their children if they are in kindergarten and they are hit by another child?
Some parents say: He was messing with you. The child will say: But I was beaten by him, I felt aggrieved, angry and sad.
Some parents will say: You are a good boy, a good boy, you know how to be civilized and polite, he is a bad boy, stinky shit, new shoes ignore stinky shit, you ignore him. The child will say: I can’t avoid him, he chased and hit me.
Other parents will say: you go to the teacher, let the teacher criticize him. The child says: The teacher criticized him, but it doesn’t work, he still hits people, the teacher can’t control him.
The parent says: You tell his parents, let his parents teach him a lesson. The child said: I have told his parents several times, each time his parents listened to my complaint, are full of joy, not at all criticize him, he still continue to beat me.
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Parents look at their children in kindergarten bullying, aggrieved, parents are also heartbroken ah, but parents have a sense of adult “morality”, that “hitting is bad”, always refuse to say to the child: he hit you, you hit him!
Comrade Mao Zedong said well: “People do not offend me, I do not offend, if people offend me, I will offend.”
I remember when I was in elementary school, a fight broke out between classmates, and the teacher asked, “Why did you hit him?”
The student replied, “He hit me first.”
Then the student began to recite Chairman Mao’s quotation, “If people do not offend me, I will not offend them; if they offend me, I will offend them.”
The teacher said: “Chairman Mao’s quote refers to the “conflict between the enemy and me”, and you and him, the classmate, are “internal conflict within the people”, so you should get along amicably, and you should not hit him back. The classmate said, “Why did he hit me when there is an internal conflict among the people? He can hit me, but I can’t hit him?”
The teacher was silent.
People are social animals.
No matter how civilized humans have evolved, they are still animals in their bones (subconscious) after all.
The winner is a king and the loser is a thief. The strong will bully the weak.
As Comrade Xiaoping said: “Backwardness will be beaten.”
Animals, such as dogs, have a “sense of territory” and do not allow other dogs to enter their territory.
In the U.S., homes are private territory, and no one is allowed to step in without permission; otherwise, the owner can shoot the person who steps in.
When the revolution was in progress, we would establish “revolutionary base”, which is the base camp of the revolution, and frankly speaking, it is “animal territory”, it is the basis of life, rest and recuperation place, it is better to invade.
Should kindergarten children also have their own “revolutionary base”, “private territory”, “animal territory”? Whether from the point of view of the law or from the point of view of animal instinct, I think that young children should have their own private territory, and such “animal territory” should be maintained and not allowed to be invaded by foreign enemies.
In primitive societies, primitive tribes often start wars and encroach on each other’s territories.
Later, humans invented “laws” to punish invaders by coercive means.
All the achievements of the evolution of human civilization over thousands of years add up to one phrase: equality of all people (before the law or God)!
Equality is the reference point for human interaction.
If I go into business with you, we each put up a hundred dollars as capital and invest in the business in partnership. At the end of the year, we make a profit of one thousand dollars. So, how to share the benefits? Half of the capital, the profits are shared equally, you and I each share 500 yuan. This is called “equality”! This is the reference point for our cooperation and benefit distribution. Under the premise of defaulting to this “equality” benchmark, I can let you get a hundred yuan, I get 400 yuan, you get 600 yuan. Please do not forget: I am out of friendship, let you 100 yuan, you should know how to be grateful ah, you have to understand: originally we are equal, I also have the right to take 500 yuan! If we lose the benchmark of “equality”, even if I don’t want any money and give you all 1000 yuan, you won’t feel that I am giving up to you, you won’t know that I am friendly to you.
Equality is the reference point of human interaction.
Country to country, nation to nation, individual to individual, child to child, can not lose this “reference point”. Because, once this reference point is lost, anyone can just violate others, and the world will be constantly at war, and human beings will lose their gratitude; those who violate others will no longer have a sense of “guilt”. Human civilization will cease to exist!
The equality of all people is the basis of human civilization. Equality for all must be guarded by the law and upheld by all people in the world!
Equality for all, is the most basic core value of human civilization.
So, what should parents tell their children when their children are beaten by other children in kindergarten? In fact, this is a good opportunity to convey the humanistic concept of “equality for all”, parents can say: “If he takes the initiative to provoke you, if he takes the initiative to hit you, you can hit him back!”
Why should parents say this in the first place? Because, equality of all people is the core value of human civilization, the datum point for human beings to live together peacefully. Without this datum point, human civilization will cease to exist. In kindergarten, if children leave the reference point of “equality”, they will be hurt, and the evil behavior of some children will “expand” and become more and more arrogant!
The development of human civilization and the cultivation of moral and legal concepts of adults should start from children, and the legal and ethical awareness of equality of all people should also start from children in kindergartens. Parents should plant the seeds of “equality for all” in the young hearts of children. When they grow up, they will know how to respect others and respect themselves as well. They will know why they should obey the law and not take the initiative to violate others, because they know that if they violate others, they will be punished and hit back.
After parents say to their kindergarten children, “You can hit them back,” they should also say to them, “You are being bullied, and mommy feels sorry for you. (empathy, emotional expression)” “In the future, if you are bullied again, you can talk to mommy and she will help you. (Psychological support)” and then, parents should also tell their children: “If he hits you, you can hit him back (. If you hit him back twice, you’ve gone too far. If you don’t hit him back even once, you’re at a disadvantage. (Cultivate a sense of equality and personal self-defense)” “If he hits you hard and you hit him back lightly, you’re taking care of him, you’re giving in to him. (Cultivate a sense of friendliness)”
You see, regarding “courtesy” and “friendliness”, only when the benchmark of “equality” is adhered to, can we show the friendliness and courtesy between partners, otherwise everything will be Otherwise, there is no way to talk about it.
Next, parents should also discuss with their children: “If your little friend stepped on you, if he did not mean to, he should take the initiative to apologize to you; if he does not take the initiative to apologize, you can ask him to apologize to you; if you ask him to apologize to you, and he still talks tough and does not apologize to you, you can step on him back to the same extent, and then, you take the initiative to apologize to him. “
Of course, parents can further discuss with their children: “While you know you can deal with him in this way, you have to let the little ones know that he (bullying you) is not friendly, you can also go to report to the teacher, to tell his parents, etc.”
In a civilized and legal society, interpersonal interactions between adults, likewise, must also be determined to “equality” as the reference point, you respect me a foot, I respect you a foot; tooth for tooth, blood for blood; come and go is not a gift,…….
Otherwise, do not talk about the rule of law and civilization!