Ms. Yang, 40 years old, has been married for 12 years and has a son. She is introverted, sensitive, stubborn, and has poor interpersonal relationship. In recent years, the relationship between husband and wife has been strained, often quarreling over minor family matters, and divorced half a year ago. There are many counseling cases of spousal tension, mostly due to personality disagreement, family pressure, extramarital affairs, etc. The spousal tension in this case is not caused by the above reasons, but by Ms. Yang’s personality and her wrong perception of marriage and family. Her personality is subjective, sensitive, self-centered and perfect, thinking that “I am good to my husband, he should listen to me.” She usually treats her husband well, but always asks him to do what she wants, tries to change his “flaws”, such as not smoking, not having too many social activities, trying not to go out at night, and so on. Although the husband is not very willing in many cases, but most obey, there is inevitably resentment, the accumulation of resentment over time leads to emotional anxiety, irritability, which directly affects the relationship between husband and wife. How to build a good relationship between husband and wife, each person has a different answer, but from the heart of the analysis or some common principles. First of all, the love between the couple should have a correct understanding and awareness, love is two-sided, is “beauty, attachment and sex” unity; secondly, to “adapt” to each other, adaptation is the key to building a harmonious relationship between husband and wife, adaptation is more “seek common ground while reserving differences”, especially to adapt to each other’s shortcomings and problems; third, strengthen communication, communication is an important way to promote a harmonious relationship, but also the main means of resolving conflicts; fourth, the correct handling of all kinds of family life events, no matter what the matter, what the problem, in the spirit of “on the matter Fourth, the correct handling of all kinds of family life events, no matter what the matter, what the problem, in the spirit of “on the matter”, “to solve the problem” principle to deal with, and not to “enlarge” things. Fifth, strengthen contact and communication, enhance the family’s “social support system” and “resilience”, in the final analysis is to have good interpersonal relationships, especially between relatives and friends, personal resilience to improve, family problems will be less, and the relationship between husband and wife will be harmonious. The relationship between husband and wife will also be harmonious.