In counseling work, couples often come to counseling for emotional problems, and such emotional problems are likely to occur because of a lot of wrong love between couples. It is true that there is no obvious bad motive or bad intention in the love between husband and wife, and the starting point of love is completely good and well-intentioned, but why the love from good intentions and good intentions will form a kind of wrong love, which will make each other or one of them feel pain? I think the main reason may be that this kind of love lacks wisdom and contains a strong desire to dominate the other party. The most obvious consequence of wrong love is that it leads to pain for each other or for one of the partners. Because wrong love is not easy to detect, we are likely to suffer from wrong love without realizing it. In the process of being together as a couple, how do you test yourself to see if your love contains the wrong kind of love? A simple criterion is that if you think you love each other sincerely and are sincere in doing good to each other, but the other person just does not appreciate it and is in pain, or although you are doing good to each other, it makes you feel very painful, frustrated, and depressed, that is to say, as long as one of the spouses is in pain, there may be a wrong love hidden in it. Wrong love between couples is very common. What are the wrong loves that couples tend to commit? I summarize and analyze them as follows: The first kind of wrong love is the love of a trading tool. The wife does love her husband, but she also expects him to love her and treat her in the same way. This is a kind of love as a transaction, how much I give, how much I want to get. The second type of misplaced love is the love of an investment vehicle. If you think you are getting a much higher return on your investment than you expected, you will feel happy and blessed. But when you find that your return on investment is much lower than you expected, or when you feel you’ve lost everything, you quickly grow to hate each other and demand “my love back”. When there is usually no conflict, oh, very very love you ah, love you to the bone ah, but once there is a conflict of interest, very very hate you, even hate you to the bone, so when one day the conditions change, “love you very deep” may become “hurt you also very deep “The people who hurt you the most are often the ones who love you the most. The third kind of wrong love is the love of “doing unto others what you want”. We feel good, very enthusiastic to share with each other, but you actually do not share, but want others to accept all, so you want to do to others, which has a very strong want to accept their own good intentions, but does not respect each other’s needs. The fourth kind of wrong love is the love of control and dominance. Your love shows a strong desire to control and dominate. You love your husband very much, but you have a strong desire to dominate him in your love. When you love each other very much, often to control each other, and when you find that the other party can not let themselves control, you will immediately from love to hate. The fifth kind of wrong love is to take for granted love. Think that the relationship between the couple is very good, love does not need to respect each other, love does not have to say thank you, that is too redundant, and further developed into: you should how, how. When we ask the other person to do something, we usually do it in a commanding tone or without an attitude of “please”, without a respectful heart, thinking that the other person is rightfully doing anything for us. We think that whatever the other person does for us is natural and desirable. The sixth kind of wrong love is a narrow-minded love. I can’t get it for myself, and I can’t let anyone else get it. I can’t give him happiness, but I don’t want anyone else to give him happiness either. I think, I love her, she must be by my side, she belongs to me. This is a narrow-minded love, which has a strong selfish heart, a strong desire to possess, the person you love will be very painful. The seventh kind of wrong love is insecure, inferior love. Your own psychological immaturity, not enough growth, there is a lot of fear, insecurity and inferiority complex, so your love is expressed as a kind of dependence. This kind of love is a kind of grasping, a kind of clinging, a kind of entanglement, and each other will feel pain. You want to protect you, strengthen your security and maintain your self-esteem through the other person. You say I love you on the surface, subconsciously you want the other person to love me, you love each other only three points, and do you realize that you love yourself but seven points. It is easy to love each other, but difficult to get along. Both spouses need to be consciously aware of their actions and not do and say things with their own strong sense of self, but respect each other’s needs. Sometimes we think we are the victim, is it possible that we are actually playing the role of a perpetrator. You think you’re aggrieved, but do you realize that the other person is more aggrieved than you are? The taste of wrong love, in the state of marriage or love can be savored by both parties, such as both husband and wife to maintain an awareness of wrong love, then the love of the couple will never fade, the taste of love, over time, the taste of the more intense, more fragrant.