When I visit outpatient clinics in hospitals, many visitors or patients from out of town ask me to recommend a counselor or therapist to them. This makes it difficult for me because I don’t know many therapists and counselors, and I can’t know counselors in all cities across the country; what’s more, I don’t know which psychotherapist or counselor is the most suitable for the current visitor. Therefore, I will tell the visitor: psychological counseling and treatment must be carried out in the place where you live and work. If there is no counselor in your area, you can find one in a nearby city, the closer the better, and try to make it possible to catch a bus to the counseling session on the same day, and then make it back home on the same day. In this way, the time for counseling plus the travel time will only take up one day at most, and you can spend the rest of the time at work or with your family, which has the added benefit of saving a lot of money. Why is it not recommended for visitors to go to a big city for counseling? First of all, because that would be a waste of time and financial resources. For example, if you go from a county in a southern province to Beijing for counseling, if there is one session per week, the round trip and counseling time together will take up about three days of your time and will cost a lot of money, not to mention the delay and expense, but also this hard work will be difficult for you to stick to for a long time because counseling, even if it’s a short session, will require at least 20 sessions. Even if you are rich and don’t care about spending money, and you take a plane from Shenzhen to Beijing for counseling, the hard work of running back and forth is totally unnecessary. There are visitors who give up their local jobs, leave their hometowns, and come to Beijing for counseling with a big pile of money and a last ray of hope. After coming to Beijing, they do not have a job, not to mention any source of income. They rent a house in Beijing, talk with the counselor for one hour every week, and spend the rest of the time in the house, watching TV, chatting on the Internet, and so on, with nothing to do, sitting on their asses. This is not only a waste of time, but also, when the psychological counseling once detached from the reality of the visitor’s life, such counseling will become a “pavilion in the air”, it becomes “talk without practicing the false style”. Or simply put: in the process of psychological counseling, the visitor must not be detached from his original living environment, and once the visitor is detached from the reality of his own life, psychological counseling is almost impossible to achieve satisfactory results. The visitor’s initial pile of money will eventually be gradually depleted, the initial ray of hope will gradually become a disappointment. This disappointment may become a new psychological problem. In fact, the visitor traveled thousands of miles to the big city to do psychological counseling, the move itself is a manifestation of its psychological problems, such a way to seek help itself is a psychological problem. Some visitors will say: in our local area, there is no good counselor! What should I do? My answer is: a good counselor must be someone who has gone through rigorous professional training, has extensive clinical work experience and has obtained professional qualifications and officially practiced. However, a counselor who meets these conditions is not necessarily the “best” counselor. There is no way to objectively compare counselors to see who is better than who, or rather, there is no “best” counselor, only the one who is “most suitable” for you. Therefore, it is recommended that you look for a counselor who suits you the most, i.e., the “best” counselor. Visitor: How can I find the “best” counselor for me? Then I would suggest that the “best” counselor for you will have the following three feelings when you meet with him/her. First, you will feel that you can easily understand what the counselor says, and that the counselor can easily and accurately understand what you say, so that in your talks, you will feel that the communication between you is smooth and effortless as you talk back and forth; second, you will feel interested and enthusiastic to continue the conversation with the counselor in the course of the psychological talk. Second, in the process of psychological conversation, you will feel interested and enthusiastic to continue the conversation with him/her, and after one conversation, you will be willing to ask him/her to have the next conversation; Third, in the process of your conversation with the counselor or after the conversation, you will feel that you have been inspired by certain things, so that your understanding of people and things has become richer, broader, more in-depth, more detailed, and more able to understand themselves and others, and more self-confidence in work, life, and interpersonal interactions. After you have talked to a certain counselor three to four times, if you have gained the three feelings mentioned above, he is the most suitable counselor for you! Then you must insist on continuing to work with that counselor, overcoming all difficulties and insisting on regular talks until the total number of talks reaches 20 or more. If you still can’t find these three feelings after three or four sessions with a counselor, we suggest that you say goodbye to the counselor and look for the next counselor who may be the “best fit” for you. And so on, one by one, until one day you find a counselor who is the “best fit” for you!