Xiao Fen is a junior high school student, top grades. Once she went to her classmate’s house after the Chinese New Year, the classmate unintentionally said, “After a New Year, you have gained weight.” Xiao Fen then began to pay attention to her body shape, she often skipped breakfast to go to school, lunch and dinner eaten not much. Once she had a medical checkup and found that she was a few pounds heavier than the girls in her seat, she thought she was still not slim enough to be perfect. So she refused to eat fish, meat, eggs and other high-protein diet, only eating vegetables and a small amount of rice, later, Fanny developed to several days in a row without eating, only drinking water. Her body was significantly thinner, her weight dropped by more than twenty pounds than before, and her menstruation stopped.
Severe malnutrition caused her physical fitness to decline significantly, and she became breathless when going up a flight of stairs, unable to continue going to school, and became depressed, irritable, and easily agitated. The school and parents had to send her to the hospital for treatment.
Fanny had fallen into a misunderstanding of the pursuit of “beauty”. She was suffering from a psychological disorder called “anorexia nervosa”, which is more common among teenagers. According to foreign epidemiological statistics, there are 270 women and 22 men suffering from anorexia nervosa per 100,000 people. In recent years, anorexia nervosa has been on the rise among women due to the bias of “slim waist is beautiful”. The prevalence of anorexia nervosa among adolescents aged 15-19 is about 0.48%. This makes anorexia nervosa the third most important problem affecting adolescent growth and development after obesity and asthma.
The disorder is mainly an eating disorder in which the patients themselves believe that they are too fat or intentionally abstain from eating under the stimulation of some adverse psychological factors, resulting in significant weight loss, often causing malnutrition, metabolic and endocrine disorders, such as female menopause and other symptoms. The peak incidence of this disease is at the age of 16-18 years, and it is more common in young women, and the prevalence of women is reported to be 10-20 times higher than that of men.
Nowadays, anorexia nervosa is a mental health problem with a relatively high incidence. Some young people pursue thinness as beauty and blindly lose weight to keep their bodies slim, which eventually leads to the occurrence of anorexia nervosa, and serious cases can die due to excessive malnutrition. In addition, in some secondary school students, due to excessive academic load, psychological stress, long hours of brain activity, and lack of physical exercise, resulting in less food, anorexia, and in the long run will also lead to anorexia, this situation seriously affects the physical and mental health of young people.
A typical patient with anorexia nervosa can be judged by his or her appearance, that is, his or her weight loss is obvious, and the weight lost is more than 15-25% of the ideal weight. In the patient’s subconscious mind, he or she always feels that his or her body shape is not perfect and fears that he or she will weigh more than others, thus refusing to consume normal caloric energy or finding ways to deplete the body’s caloric energy, such as excessive physical activity, actively inducing vomiting, and taking laxatives.
Clinically, patients with anorexia nervosa will have symptoms such as abdominal distension, chills, abnormal bowel habits (constipation and diarrhea), and general malaise. In physical examination, patients will be found to be pale, have a slow heartbeat, hypotension, low body temperature, dry or peeling skin, edema of the lower extremities, and punctate bleeding of the skin. In blood tests, patients may show anemia, low white blood cells, hypokalemia or hyponatremia, and elevated serum urea nitrogen and creatinine suggesting an abnormal rise in toxic substances in the serum. These conditions can lead to endocrine disorders (e.g., menopause) and a decline in the body’s immune function.
Anorexia nervosa is a psychological disorder whose etiology stems from a disorder of psychological personality development and a deviation in perception caused by the social and human environment. In addition to having a certain degree of cognitive bias about their body shape and weight, people with anorexia nervosa, in addition to their family environment, personal emotions, study and work pressure, may “emphasize dieting and refuse to be obese” to relieve their suppressed emotions or gain self-satisfaction and sense of accomplishment by excessive weight control. As a result, anorexia nervosa patients are characterized by anxiety, depression, low self-esteem and hysteria.
To address anorexia nervosa as a psychological disorder, prevention is the first step. We should promote mental health education among adolescents, cultivate the correct aesthetics of adolescents, and change the incorrect aesthetic concept of “thinness as beauty” and the morbid fear of obesity. Schools should also pay attention to strengthen quality education, reduce the excessive academic burden and psychological pressure of students.
A normal diet and adequate nutrition is not only necessary for the physical development of adolescents, but also an important guarantee for students to be able to compete and improve their academic performance, because the brain must receive enough energy to maintain normal memory and thinking, and to withstand intense brain activity.
Once the manifestations of anorexia nervosa appear, it is important to seek expert consultation and treatment at a specialist hospital, and in severe cases, hospitalization, to first address malnutrition and metabolic disorders. Adjust the diet structure, give a nutritious diet and restore weight. Psychologists can apply cognitive-behavioral therapy to correct patients’ excessive concern about body shape and weight and to change their “overpriced perceptions”.
This is often a potential psychological trigger for the development of anorexia nervosa, as patients evaluate their self-worth based solely on their shape and weight. Appropriate medication is also needed. Medication is effective for various mood disorders associated with anorexia nervosa, such as depression, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive, and somatic discomfort symptoms.
I. Confusion in adolescence-obsessive-compulsive disorder
Xiao Lin was admitted to a major city high school from the suburbs last year, and she was usually a “top student” in her studies. But her personality is more introverted and she doesn’t interact much with others. In the past six months, the mind can only repeatedly appear and male and female intimacy related ideas, she feels that this is very bad, but the more you want to reject it, but the more intense and frequent such thoughts. Sometimes it also appears suddenly in class, interfering with normal learning. Not long ago, her relative’s daughter married a foreign migrant worker. This act was incomprehensible to her. When she was thinking about this incident, this thought suddenly flashed into her mind: “I want to be like her.” “No! This is absolutely impossible.” The recurrence of this thought made her miserable. She began to avoid her male classmates, distanced herself from her teachers, and was afraid to look at them in class. Because she was afraid that she would act irrationally; she thought she had a dirty soul; she even thought of dying.
Xiao Lin is suffering from a psychological disorder called “obsessive-compulsive disorder”. Why does she have these recurring obsessive thoughts? Let’s analyze it first.
Many psychological problems have their own personality causes. Our psychometric evaluation of Lin revealed that Lin has a timid, shy, stereotypical, and socially awkward personality. Such personality traits prevented her from interacting and understanding the opposite sex normally. As she entered the sensitive stage of adolescence, her psychosexual development matured along with the gradual maturation of her triumphal development. She began to feel a sense of mystery about the opposite sex and a psychological need to interact with the opposite sex. However, her family education, traditional concepts and personality traits from childhood made her feel that male and female interaction is a bad thing and will bring bad results.
Therefore, she strongly rejects the idea of interacting with the opposite sex in her mind, while her inner consciousness of the opposite sex makes this idea appear in her mind repeatedly, forming an inner psychological conflict and contradiction. The incident of her relative’s daughter marrying a migrant worker further intensified her inner conflict, causing the thought to recur in her mind, “I want to be like her.” In fact, it is not to imitate her behavior, but just a desire to satisfy her innermost psychological need to interact with the opposite sex.
Getting rid of this compulsive thought can be done in two ways: one, to treat the idea in the mind with acceptance, accept it, understand it, rather than reject it. As an adolescent boy or girl, it is normal psychologically for the mind to think about some interactions with the opposite sex and certain aspects of emotional life; secondly, in terms of behavior, do not avoid it, but increase interactions with the opposite sex. Do what you want to do and let nature take its course.
Because avoidance behavior can only temporarily reduce the tension, but will make the compulsive ideas are reinforced. Should learn to face, usually study problems to take the initiative to find male teachers or classmates to discuss; holidays can also be about a few classmates together with outings, in the interaction, will gradually eliminate the mystery of the opposite sex; will develop self-confidence; will find that what they are worried about, what they fear is actually not going to happen.
Second, is it friendship or love?
Xiao Hong is 16 years old, a girl in her first year of high school, and she has a crush on a boy a year higher than her. Their parents are good friends, frequent interactions, the two of them also often contact, began to talk about their respective studies, unknowingly mutual feelings. Xiao Hong just felt like seeing him and longed for him to be good to her too, thinking that this was love. The boy also said he liked her, and sometimes asked her out to play.
The high school level of study is very intense, Xiaohong also know to study as the priority, but also hope to enter the university to further study. So, Xiaohong forced herself not to think about him, but perhaps the reason is that “the knife is broken, the water flows more”, not only did not forget him, academic performance also fluctuates. She asked her psychiatrist, “What is friendship? What is love? What should I do?”
The fact that Xiao Hong knew to come to the psychologist shows that she was still alert to the sensitive issue of early love, an adolescent heterosexual interaction. However, she has trouble grasping the boundaries between friendship and love, and is distressed and disturbed by it, and her studies are affected.
So, how to understand the essential difference between friendship and love? According to psychology, friendship is a deep emotional connection and behavioral interaction between classmates, colleagues or friends. Intimate, innocent friendship is a spiritual force that inspires and motivates people to move forward. Love, on the other hand, is different from friendship in that it is a strong and exclusive feeling of admiration and attraction between the two sexes and a desire for each other to become lifelong partners. As a result of the close relationship between her parents, Xiao Hong met and gradually became attached to a boy who was a year ahead of her. And this kind of affection is, at this stage, only a precious friendship between the opposite sex. What’s more, Xiaohong is still a middle school student who wants to study seriously and enter university for further study.
Then, now it should properly grasp the proportion of friendship and love, with each other to maintain a normal friendship relationship, and not too much interaction affects the study. As both parties grow older and mature physically and mentally, perhaps one day the friendship between the two will develop into a beautiful love; of course there is another possibility – the relationship between the two will always remain in the realm of friendship. Even if they do have some kind of love feelings between them, this is only a teenage boy and girl often have a kind of adoration and love for the opposite sex, rather than mature love. This immature love is like a half-baked green fruit on a fruit tree, pick it off now and bite in the mouth will be astringent and bitter. Only when the harvest season, you can taste its sweetness and deliciousness.
During this waiting time, young high school students must further enrich and perfect themselves with study and knowledge, just as the fruit needs more sunlight and rain to ripen. Only at that time, you can really realize the desire and pursuit of love.
Third, how to always blush when you see the opposite sex?
Xiao He is a high school junior boy, perhaps since his freshman year of high school, there is one thing that often torments him and makes him very distressed. He felt especially nervous when talking to female students and always blushed, so he had to avoid the opposite sex. When he talked to the psychiatrist, he said that he actually wanted to interact with students of the opposite sex from the inside, and that he had feelings for some outstanding girls, but blushing affected his interaction with the opposite sex. For this reason, he is very low self-esteem and very painful. He came to psychological counseling, hoping that the doctor can help him solve this problem.
The situation described by Xiao He, psychologically known as “social phobia”, is also a product of the great physical and psychological changes in adolescence.
Adolescent boys and girls have feelings of affection and adoration for each other, which is a normal psychological phenomenon that gradually arises along with the maturation of sexual functions. In such a psychological role, adolescents want to approach and interact with the opposite sex, and like to show themselves in front of the opposite sex of the same age, and are extremely concerned about their own actions in front of the opposite sex (especially in front of the opposite sex they love). Once you notice blushing and nervousness, you want to “get rid of” them to maintain your image in front of the opposite sex. But often the more you try to control yourself, the more you blush. This is where Xiao He’s problem lies.
So, how to solve this problem? First, the correct treatment of “want to interact with the opposite sex”, “the love of the opposite sex”. To understand that this is the process of growing up, focus on the topic of conversation with her, do not always check themselves “is not the wrong thing to say”, “is not blushing again” and so on. In fact, for everyone, nervousness and blushing are inevitable, allow them to appear, do not pay too much attention to it, focus on what to say and do, the nervousness or anxiety will naturally disappear. Third, if nervousness and blushing appear when speaking, do not reject them, do not think that the only way to get things done is not to be nervous, people can not wait until the nervousness disappears before doing something.
In addition, do not expect and demand too much of yourself, the higher the expectations, fearing that you will not do well, the more intense the tension will be. Learn to look at yourself objectively, evaluate yourself, and set an appropriate and relaxed standard for yourself. It is important to know that people walk upstairs one step at a time, and it is impossible to step up one floor at a time.
Fourth, the causes of adolescent depression
Xiao Fang grew up smart and obedient. Her academic performance was among the best, and she was also a class cadre. Her parents had high expectations of her, and as long as she studied well, she could do whatever she wanted in life. After graduating from junior high school, Fang was admitted to a major high school and her parents were proud of her. But soon after entering school, Xiao Fang felt not quite adapted, the classmates are all excellent students from all over the world, their own learning advantages no longer exist, a test due to inadequate preparation, the results immediately fell to the thirtieth in the class. Xiao Fang cried at that time, feeling unable to face such a reality. After that, she gradually became dizzy, insomnia, depressed and inattentive in class, and felt that her classmates looked down on her and she felt sorry for her parents. Later, she became afraid of going to school and lost confidence in her future.
Fang’s case belongs to the psychological disorder of “adolescent depression”. Children who grow up in a good situation often lack a sense of worry. Parents only see the results, but do not know that they also need to cultivate good psychological quality of children. As a result, when children face setbacks and failures or do not adapt to the new learning environment, they are unable to cope psychologically and depression inevitably arises. In terms of the various factors that trigger depression in adolescence, from a psychological point of view, there are mainly the following aspects.
1. Changes in the family. There is no greater psychological impact on children than that caused by the marriage of parents. The separation caused by family breakup will make children lack a sense of security and love, and there will be a feeling of abandonment; some children may think that it is their own poor performance that separates their parents, thus creating low self-esteem and self-blame. These are one of the important reasons for depression.
2. Relocation and school transfer. Due to parents’ job transfer and business, some children often move or change schools with their parents during childhood and adolescence, which can also trigger depression due to “nostalgia” of adolescents, especially when close friends leave and poorly adapt to unfamiliar environment and get along with new classmates, it is easy to present depression.
3.Death of a friend or relative. The sudden death of a family member or a beloved friend is indeed a heavy blow. Children can easily become depressed due to excessive sadness and fear, and it takes a long time to gradually get better, but the knot of their lost friends and relatives is difficult to untie in their lifetime.
4. Damaged self-esteem. For children who have high self-esteem and are strict with themselves, but have poor grades and are unable to do their best, parents and teachers should inspire, hint, induce, and avoid direct chastisement to avoid hurting their self-esteem and causing depression. Because the self-esteem is hit is one of the common causes of depression.
5, the thoughts of the opposite sex. Young men and women in adolescence are in the process of moving towards physical maturity, and all kinds of psychosexual changes are extremely natural. Therefore, young boys and girls are prone to depression due to secret love for the opposite sex or fear of losing the person they love.
Generally speaking, because women develop earlier and are more sensitive, their psychological awareness of heterosexuality, morality and social consciousness is also deeper, so they are more prone to various psychological disorders, including depression, due to external or internal frustration and trauma than young men. Therefore, to prevent the occurrence of adolescent depression, it is necessary for the family, school and society to pay attention to the words and actions of adolescent females at all times, in order to detect the first signs of depression as early as possible and give direct and indirect help in time.
V. Drinking “compulsive thoughts” can make youth still happy
Xiao Ying is a sophomore girl, usually buried in her studies, not much interaction with others, in the study is a top. However, in the past six months, there is something that has always bothered her, affecting learning and life. The source happened six months ago, once she answered a teacher’s question in class with a wrong sentence, causing the class to laugh. This incident made Ying nervous, and she began to be afraid to speak in front of her classmates, fearing that she would be laughed at for saying the wrong thing. One female classmate even jokingly said, “Xiao Ying answered the question wrong because she was thinking about boys.” Xiao Ying felt insulted, but was not at liberty to argue with the other side over the matter, so she suppressed her grievances and dissatisfaction in her heart. Later, the other party, perhaps feeling aggrieved, apologized to Xiaoying.
This should have been the end of the matter. But Xiaoying’s heart did not calm down, as if a mysterious magic box had been opened. The ghost of fear took over her mind. Whenever she heard the girl’s laughter, Xiao Ying’s heart would tremble for no reason; whenever she walked into the classroom, she felt a pair of eyes staring at her, talking about her behind her back and mocking her. Xiao Ying wanted to forget about the past and said to herself a thousand times a day, “Forget about her,” but it was useless. Her figure appeared in Xiaoying’s mind from time to time, making Xiaoying inattentive in class, memory loss, academic performance declined, and her body also showed symptoms of discomfort; dizziness, heartburn, chest tightness, sweaty hands, and being awakened in nightmares, Xiaoying had to take sick leave to rest.
Xiao Ying was sick. What she was suffering from was not a physical illness, but a psychological illness. This psychological disease we call “obsessive-compulsive disorder”. OCD can often be divided into two categories: one is obsessive-compulsive behavior-based OCD, such as repeated hand washing, repeated checking, repeated counting, etc.; the other is obsessive-compulsive thinking-based OCD, no compulsive behavior, but the recurrence of some problems, some ideas and scenarios in the mind, accompanied by an increasing sense of anxiety and fear. Xiao Ying’s case belongs to the second type of OCD.
Many psychological problems have their own personality causes. This is also true for OCD, which is more likely to arise in people who are introverted, timid, shy, and perfectionists. The pursuit of perfection makes them do not allow themselves to make mistakes, and the reality of life makes people do have to make mistakes, so they are always full of contradictions; introverted and timid character makes them encounter frustration afraid to face, always want to escape, always very depressed inside. A person, especially young people, mental capacity is limited, long periods of conflict and repression is an important cause of psychological disorders.
Xiao Ying has a similar personality trait, and a misstatement in class is just a triggering factor that exposes her potential psychological problems, because her “perfect” self-image is affected. A joke from a female classmate touched another “off-limits” area in her heart – the emotional problems of adolescence. Since Xiao Ying grew up in a traditional and closed family, her family education and personality traits made her feel that male and female interaction in secondary school was a bad thing and would bring bad results, so she strongly rejected the idea of interacting with the opposite sex in her mind.
”The fact that she was thinking of boys when she said the wrong thing prompted Ying’s internal psychological conflicts to become public, causing her to feel nervous and fearful, as if she had turned from a “perfect” girl into a “degenerate” girl. She desperately tried to suppress these thoughts. But the more she tries to repel it, the more often the compulsive thoughts appear in her mind. It’s like a ball, the harder you hit it, the higher it bounces; you have to calm it down and ignore it to get it to work.
So, how can Ying get rid of this compulsive thought? First of all, treat the obsessive thoughts in your mind with acceptance, understanding them instead of panicking. Don’t avoid your classmates and teachers, as avoidance will only make the obsessive thoughts stronger. Should learn to face, usually encounter difficulties in learning can take the initiative to find teachers or classmates to discuss, holidays can also be a few classmates to go on a field trip together, in the interaction to eliminate barriers, to develop confidence.
As compulsive thoughts are annoying, you can also use the method of “idea stop”: first list several pleasant scenarios that you have experienced in your life before, such as birthdays, outings with classmates or a happy scene in a movie. When a compulsive thought comes to mind, shout in your mind, “Stop!” Then shift your mind to the pre-prepared happy scene. So repeatedly train yourself, compulsive thoughts will gradually eliminate, youthful life will still be full of joy and hope.
Six, communication has its own true feelings in
Xiao Hui, a senior girl, had been retained for a year because she changed schools. This is what she told her psychiatrist: “When I first started to interact with people, it seemed easy to make new friends, but after a while it was difficult to develop good friendships with others. My inability to develop friendships may be related to my sensitivity and distrust of others. Because I have had the experience of being frustrated with friendships and being cheated and used, I am not confident enough to open myself up.
Invariably, a barrier was built between myself and the other person. Now my mind is very confused and my mood is bad, I often fantasize that my family or friends have left me, I don’t know what I should do?”
The problem that plagues Xiao Hui is mainly due to her inability to adapt to the new environment after transferring to a new school and her inability to establish a good interpersonal relationship, which leads to loneliness and low self-esteem, and the bad mood affects her studies, making her frustrated and demoralized in the process of living and studying, and losing confidence in herself.
To change Xiao Hui’s current situation, the psychologist suggested that she start by improving her interpersonal relationships. Everyone wants to have a good interpersonal relationship and to keep it going. Although interpersonal relationships are complex and different people have different demands and expectations of others, psychologists have still summarized psychological principles that help people win over others, maintain genuine friendships, and avoid bad interpersonal relationships. These principles can help people successfully establish and maintain the desired interpersonal relationships.
1. The principle of interaction. In our daily lives, we have a common tendency to want others to recognize our value, support us, accept us, and like us. So we tend to pay more attention to our own performance in our interactions with others. This tendency to be self-centered, rather than other-centered, is precisely one of the reasons why we often encounter difficulties in interpersonal relationships. Psychologists believe that the basis of interpersonal relationships is the mutual importance and support between people. No one accepts us and likes us for no reason. There is a prerequisite for others to like us, and that is for us to like them and recognize their value as well. For Xiao Hui, in order to be liked by others, it is not enough to have a bright appearance and only think of one’s own strengths, but to learn to respect and appreciate others; to think of others’ strengths often; to listen to others’ opinions with all your heart; and to care for others wholeheartedly. Then, others will also use the same attitude to return you. This is the “interaction principle” of interpersonal communication.
2, utilitarian principle. Man is a rational animal or a realistic animal. Only when a relationship is worthwhile for people, people have the motivation to interact, interpersonal relationships can be established and maintained. Interaction between people is essentially a process of social exchange. Although this exchange is not exactly the same as the exchange that occurs in a buying and selling relationship in the market, it is not only an exchange of material things, but also includes non-material things such as emotions, information, services, and other aspects of exchange. As Xiao Hui, in order to be accepted by others, to build and maintain good interpersonal relationships with others, it is necessary to take the initiative to care for and help others when they are sick or have difficulties.