There are two common misconceptions about psychologists. One is that psychologists must be “emotionally indifferent” and “insensitive”, otherwise how can they face so much human suffering every day? One is that psychologists are in contact with people with psychological problems every day, as the saying goes, “always walking by the river, there is no such thing as not wet shoes”, and over time, they cannot help but be infected by the pain, and more or less have problems in their psyches. Most psychologists are emotionally active people. Because of the sharp senses, sensitive mind, in order to have the power of perception, in order to understand the psychological state of the visitor, and the visitor “empathy”. Because of this, psychologists are often under great pressure. Faced with all kinds of psychological problems and traumas, we often wonder if we are capable of helping our clients. Often, we feel exhausted and depleted, and even want to lose our temper……. Therefore, recognizing, controlling, and surpassing ourselves has become a daily task for psychologists. Just as psychologists with different personalities and experiences tend to adopt different schools of thought in treating their visitors, each doctor adopts a different approach to “self-cultivation”. Since I personally agree with the purity and inaction of the Eastern thought of Lao-Tsang, and appreciate the Western existentialism of “living toward death” and “freedom under the premise of responsibility”, my treatment and self-treatment orientation almost entirely come from the combination of these two thoughts. The principles of my life can be summarized as follows The principles of my life can be summarized as follows: 1. “Self-love” comes first. Love for oneself and life is the starting point for all other “loves”. Only if you like yourself, you can accept yourself, so that you can have a peaceful and tolerant attitude towards others. Do not “self-love” people look at life’s eyes must also be perverse and radical. 2, “self-pampering” second. Love yourself of course, we must spoil ourselves. The so-called spoil yourself, is not to force yourself to do some “should do, but do not want to do” things, and may as well “spontaneous fun”, to leave some fun in life. Maybe you have a hundred reasons to memorize 5000 English words in 1 month, but only one reason “I am not happy! If you have a hundred reasons to memorize 5000 English words in 1 month, but only one reason “I’m not happy! Wouldn’t that defeat the purpose? 3, “self-responsibility” is the foundation. Pamper yourself is also to have conditions. There was a college student told me: to survive in the network game all his life, the pursuit of absolute freedom of life. However, his freedom is conditional, that is, his parents must give him a house to live, cook for him, earn money to buy him an Internet card. To put it politely, such freedom is hypocritical and cowardly. Everyone has the right to choose a different life, but the prerequisite is to be responsible for themselves, not to harm themselves or others; to the social life of their own obligations should never be excused. There are always setbacks and psychological problems in life. Psychological problems affect no more than three aspects: thinking, emotion and behavior. Emotions are very important, and negative emotions can lead to irrational thinking and ineffective behavior. How to deal with negative emotions. My approach is: 1. Experience emotions when they arise rather than repressing them. Healthy people should be the most natural people and it is normal to have emotions such as anger, jealousy, resentment, grief and despair. Feeling these emotions is one of the joys of life. Repression or denial, although to obtain temporary peace, in the long run, but caused by the inability to recognize the feelings of the self, and can not be expressed. 2. Set a limit to the time and extent of your “experience”. For example, when I realize that I have negative emotions, such as anger, frustration, despair, etc., I will allow myself to remain in those emotions. I will allow myself to remain in that emotion, but will set a bottom line for myself, such as 10 minutes to experience anger and frustration to the fullest. For 10 minutes, I would sit in one place and concentrate on being “angry”. I will allow myself to gnash my teeth, and even imagine various means of retaliation …… After 10 minutes, the emotion will usually subside. Even if there is still residual anger, I will tell myself: I should go to work, the rest of the “anger” in the evening there is time to continue to “angry”. Moreover, in the process of “angry”, I remind myself: I am experiencing emotions, I can not make any decisions, nor can I take any action, because they are likely to be irrational. 3. After venting appropriately, step out of the ego’s perspective to calm the emotions. From the Buddhist point of view, the reason why people have all kinds of trouble is because of the “I” too attached. Taoists also believe that only “forget me” to obtain peace. How to forget oneself? There is a saying by a Zen master, “When a person crosses a bridge, the water on the bridge does not flow”, which compares life to a bridge, water to time, and the “true self” to the person who crosses the bridge. People generally think that the passage of time leads to a life that is easy to grow old; but Zen masters look at it the other way around: perhaps it is time that is eternal, and what passes by in a hurry is just a personal experience, so why be obsessed with it? When the perspective is far and wide, standing in the endless dimension of time and space overlooking life, will feel the short personal life existence and the endless universe of time and space existence, compared to how small! How disappointing it is to waste one’s precious and short life in speculation, conjecture, remorse and anxiety.