This article is a reflection written by a patient’s family after attending our Dementia Families Club on October 25. As a medical professional, I was very moved by this article. In order to call for the attention of the society and the public to the families and caregivers of dementia, with the consent of the family, her article is reproduced below: On the morning of October 28, a unique symposium was held in the demonstration room on the 3rd floor of Building 6 of Zhejiang Second Hospital. The participants were patients with memory disorders, their families and nursing staff. Dr. Zhou Jiong, a specialist in memory disorders, invited Ms. Ma Hongmei, a psychotherapist from Beijing People’s University, to explain to the patients’ families how to self-regulate and release. As a family member of an elderly person with dementia, I attended this seminar for the first time and would like to share with you what I saw and heard that day and what I thought after I returned. What I saw and heard: When I stepped into the classroom, I felt different from my usual habits and imagination, and I saw that the chairs were not arranged in a circle with the desks and chairs below the podium. Dr. Zhou and Mr. Ma sat in a circle with everyone, and there was no gap between them. Originally, the participants did not know each other and were a bit overwhelmed by this occasion, but this arrangement instantly brought them closer to each other. We felt like we had returned to our families and had the feeling of an extended family discussing important family matters. At the beginning of the talk, Dr. Zhou and Ms. Ma gave a few short and friendly opening remarks and then encouraged us to talk and share our experiences in caring for patients over the years. It was as if everyone had finally found a listener for what they had been holding back for years, and they either spoke at length or told the story. A sister said that her husband, who is 73 years old, was still writing books two years ago, but now he can no longer read his own books or recognize the words he wrote. She has nothing to do at home and must go out several times a day. The elder sister is also in her seventies, in fact, also needs to be taken care of age, but her husband alone to go out she does not feel comfortable, several times a day to follow the shopping and really can not bear, so we have to find someone to follow her husband out. But her husband does not allow anyone to follow, as soon as he finds someone to follow, immediately think of ways to hide and get rid of. The most heartbreaking thing is that her husband also likes to pick up coins and always wants to pick up coins when he goes out. For this, he was called in twice by the police station. The elder sister took her husband’s salary from the bank and showed him a large stack of cash, telling him that the family is not bad, there is so much money, do not go to pick up coins again. But her husband faced a stack of 100 yuan in cash with a blank face, and a few found a dollar, Wu Mao coins is so happy, so with a sense of accomplishment. When I heard this, my tears came out like a river that had broken its banks. A professor with a senior title and a lifetime of respect, due to this terrible disease, has become this state. This would have been used as a burden and a laughing stock in the skits and comedies, but in our case, no one could laugh at all, and we were accompanied only by tears. This is the understanding, the warmth that our mother’s family gives us. I used to feel that I was tired of taking care of my mother, especially my heart, and sometimes I even felt desperate, but that day I heard so many family members speak and talk, I felt that I was not alone, we have a group, a not small group. If we say that our patients have the same disease, then that day, under the organization of Dr. Zhou and Mr. Ma, our families sat together because of our common destiny, we are connected to each other by the same life. We were all connected to each other. You said one thing and I said another, and it was 12:00 noon. Because of the late hour, we had to get up, but we were not satisfied and we were reluctant to leave. We all told Dr. Zhou and Ms. Ma that we hope to organize more activities like this, so that we can have a place to express our hearts and complaints, exchange practices and experiences in caring for patients, and encourage and cheer each other on. …… Finally, one of the aunts said it well: all family members must be strong, first of all, take care of themselves, our family needs us. Post-meeting thoughts: 1. This event was like a long dry spell of rain, and we were able to talk about what we have been holding in our hearts for years. Because these family members are responsible for the heavy care and nursing work, they need to be well prepared in advance to participate in the event. If they can’t solve the practical problems, they may not be able to hold on after a few times. 2. We, the patients’ families, are all old people, so how long we can last day by day is something we dare not think about. These two days, Jiaxing Yangyu community reports of an empty nesting elderly couple who both passed away at home stirred up all kinds of discussions about this. The old lady was a dementia patient, 66 years old, who had been ill for 10 years, and her partner had been caring for her for 10 years. You can imagine how much hardship the old couple has gone through in the past 10 years, and the 73-year-old partner is considered to be the best person to take care of the old lady because she is still physically strong. But what can we do if we don’t, our son has to work and has to have a life of his own. When it comes to Alzheimer’s, the current society is nothing but ridicule and sarcasm, and everyone else avoids it. When the tragedy came out, there were many “filial sons” who came forward to blame their sons for delaying the return for three weeks. This is really called standing up and talking! I don’t know how his son usually behaves towards his parents, but I can imagine that there may be many times in the past 10 years when he called and got no answer, and then got through two days later, so over time, just like the fable of “The Wolf Comes”, the son thought it would be another “unlucky” time. “The father has taken the mother for a walk. I think we can only rely on the government and society to prevent the recurrence of such tragedies. Individuals and children can only be truly good “filial children” with the help of the government and society, otherwise it is just an empty phrase. Such patients must have a place to be accepted, and must be given equal attention by the government and society as a whole. The best way is a combination of nursing homes and home care, I originally wanted to send my mother to a home for the elderly in my neighborhood and thought it was the best, but was rejected. In the seminar, Mr. Ma said that our families must first exclude the idea of not being able to hold their heads up, but this idea is not something we like to have, but this is how society is now. In addition to neurologists, there are many other doctors who discriminate against AD patients, not to mention others. I’ve experienced all of this first hand. As human life expectancy increases and dementia becomes younger, people born in the 60’s are reaching retirement, so what can we do if the government and society don’t pay attention? I can only appeal or appeal!