Xiao Wang and his wife chose to further their education in order to improve their working environment. Fortunately, the couple both enrolled in a foreign university for graduate school. While celebrating, they had to bear the pain of giving their 3-year-old daughter Taotao to her grandparents to raise. Armed Police Guangdong General Hospital Psychological Counseling Tang Jihua The first time they were separated, they saw their daughter asleep and thought it was the perfect opportunity to sneak away. I did not expect the next day, the grandmother called heartbroken, said Tao Tao woke up after sleep can not find mom and dad, bawling, crying while looking around the yard for mom and dad, but also ran to the road, it seems that the vehicles going to have no trace of mom and dad …… a speech so that the mother on the other end of the phone tears, want to let the daughter listen to the phone, and her The mother on the other end of the phone was in tears and wanted her daughter to listen to the phone and say something comforting to her, but her daughter wouldn’t answer the phone. A month later, the couple returned home, the daughter’s attitude toward Mom and Dad cold, unwilling to take care of them, the couple pampered, two or three days later, the daughter gradually with Mom and Dad affectionate up. In the eyes of adults, separation is a normal thing, because they think that after a while the intimacy between parents and children can be restored. But for children, the separation may be superficial if the situation is not handled properly, and the separation has left a shadow in their hearts. A child’s greatest fear is that his parents will no longer love him or abandon him. They wake up from sleep to find that their parents are not home, they feel scared, and their anxiety about abandonment is then awakened. When a parent leaves without saying goodbye and without giving the child an explanation they can understand, the separation means to the child that the parent no longer loves and abandons him or her. When life circumstances make it necessary to leave a young child, it is important to prepare for the separation beforehand. It is easier for children to accept the stress of separation if they are prepared in advance. Meaningful preparation requires more than general verbal explanations, as young children are not at the cognitive level to understand adult language. When mom and dad tell their 3-year-old daughter they are leaving home for school a week before they leave and the baby appears indifferent, parents should not be fooled by this illusion because a 3-year-old cannot imagine what it means to go away to school; she only evaluates what is actually happening. Meaningful preparation requires adequate communication, which should be in the child’s language, i.e. the language the child uses for toys as well as for play, so that the child understands that the parents are only leaving for a short time and are not abandoning him. A simple game can serve this purpose. Mom and dad prepare some dolls in advance to represent the teacher, dad, mom, and baby, and draw two circles on the floor, one for home and one for school. Mom manipulates the toy dolls while saying, “Mom and Dad are now going to school from home and won’t be home for a while.” The baby wondered, “Where did mommy and daddy go?” ”They are not at home, not in the kitchen, not in the bedroom, not in the living room. Mommy and Daddy are at school, listening to the teacher’s lecture. The baby wants Mommy and Daddy, but Mommy and Daddy are at school in class. Mommy and Daddy love the baby and miss her, and the baby misses Mommy. Then summer vacation arrives and mommy and daddy come home and the baby is very happy ……” This play of separation and reunion is played over and over again by mommy and daddy and their daughter. At the beginning, it was mostly mom and dad talking, and slowly the baby began to tell: “The teacher has to teach mom and dad well, to make them score 100 points and send them home as soon as possible.” When the performance ended, the child was very relieved: “Don’t worry, mommy and daddy, I will be here when you come back.” For younger children, the message of the tape was especially helpful. A parent’s calm voice and loving words can help them endure a temporary separation, and they will feel that their parent’s love is still around without undue anxiety or sadness.