The purpose of love is to let each other learn to be “more ideal” and “more complete”. But here is the problem. When people enter into love, they often get confused.
Instead of making themselves the ideal person, they try to make the other person fit their ideal; instead of making themselves a more complete person, they expect the other person to fill their own shortcomings. If you look at people’s relationships, are they all picking on each other and trying to change each other?
When you love a woman, you immediately start to improve her, and you think she should be the way she is. Of course, she will also improve you in turn, asking you to do this and that, asking you to do this or that: “Talk like this”, “Behave
Behave like that”. Then the problem comes when the other person is not “this or that”. Haven’t you noticed? Couples fight over the same things, the same issues, the same conflicts.
The wife has a concept that the husband should be this way, and the husband thinks the wife should not be that way, and each side tries to change the other to fit their “ideal version”, and the result is that they mess up what was a good relationship.
In the end, they don’t even talk anymore. Because the moment they open their mouths to talk, the argument starts again, and it’s the same old issue with no room for change.
They are already frustrated with each other. If you understand human nature, you will find that it is very difficult to change a person. How can you change
someone else? Have you ever heard of anyone changing anyone else? That’s impossible, because everyone exists on their own terms, everyone lives for themselves, and you can’t change anyone. Even if someone does change
You can’t change anyone. Even if someone does change, it’s only if “he” wants to change. That’s right, no one can change unless they want to change, and your efforts will only make it worse.
Why do you ever fall in love with this person and then keep trying to change them? Is that what you call “love”? I must tell you, if he has to become better for you to be able to love, or if he doesn’t change, you don’t love.
That is not love, but the conditions you set for love. To love someone, you can’t just love half of them, you can’t just love the part you love, you have to love all of them. Love his beautiful
Love the part that is beautiful and love the part that is ugly, love the present and love the past, love the good and love the bad, because the bad is also a part of him. If you try to change the other person, it means you don’t really love him, you love yourself.
If you want others to change, change yourself first; to make things better, make yourself better first. Finally give up changing others, it is called “maturity”; know how to change yourself, it is called “growth”.
If you really know how to love, you will let yourself become the ideal person, not change others to fit your ideal.