When you are worried and depressed about your education, career, love, marriage, family and various interpersonal relationships and don’t know how to solve them, are you seeking professional psychological guidance? The answer is certainly yes. Psychological counseling and therapy can help improve and resolve our confusion and doubts, and promote our psychological growth. In today’s rising divorce rate, how to maintain a beautiful and happy family life and how to run your marriage well? Let’s have some discussions on such a specific issue today. When it comes to business, the first thing that comes to mind is the business side of things, likewise, marriage also needs to be managed with care, married life is the need to be watered with the rain of love, need to listen with your heart! Marriage requires mutual understanding and mutual concern. The following two aspects that tend to cause tension and conflict in the relationship between husband and wife need our attention and avoidance. First, an irrational thinking is that the lover must like to care for himself or herself. And in fact we all understand that in addition to each of us having many strengths, many strengths, and many things that people like, there are also things about each of us that others dislike. Wang Mingxuan and Jiang Xinyao in the TV series “Rules Before Divorce” often argue because of life problems, and they are most of all involved in these problems. When you are in love, there is always a gathering and a scattering, then both parties may spend a lot of energy to make each other happy as long as there is no marriage relationship. After marriage, in addition to those good characteristics show to each other, bad things also show to each other, that is to say, if we have a rational thinking into marriage, we have to have the expectation that the other party is more averse to us, in addition to hope that they like us. In some cases, when you do something or say something, the other person may show their dislike for you. Because we know that two strangers from acquaintance to love to love, to enter into marriage, then before these two people met, there is a long life path is each in a completely different place, in a completely different family, in a completely different school upbringing. The two parties formed a lot of differences, then with this difference, it is possible that one party is mostly satisfied with the other party. There will also be a part that is dissatisfied, to accept each other rationally first. If you can’t accept each other and don’t recognize these differences, it will cause tension and conflict in the marriage. The second aspect is always trying to transform each other. We often hear people say that they want to make their lover change, become in line with their own wishes, and want to transform each other. The more they try to do this, the more counterproductive it becomes. But in fact, the rational thinking is that you want to transform others first to transform themselves, especially with your close relationship, you want the other party to make what kind of change, you better change yourself first. If you change yourself, you will influence the other party, and the other party will change by osmosis. So if you ask to change the other person when you completely ignore the need to change yourself subjectively, this may be a major cause of tension and conflict in the marriage. How to run our marriage well? Let’s look at an example. A soon-to-be-married daughter asked her mother, “Mom, how will I manage my love after I get married?” Without saying a word the mother took up a handful of sand from the ground with both hands, which was then full in her hands and piled up into a small mountain. The mother made her hands into fists and immediately the sand spilled from each finger and there was very little sand left in her hands. At this point the mother said: “Love, when you grasp tightly it tends to want to run more, and vice versa, it will make you very satisfied, very happy.” The old man has a point, there are many times between couples is like this, the more you go to force, it is not always possible to get. You don’t have to ask for what is yours, but you can’t lose it, and what is not yours will run away. How to maintain the beauty and happiness of marriage? First of all, marriage needs to pay and accumulate. Since marriage and family with the word business, we can compare it to a family bank. This bank can be both a man as chairman and a woman as chairman, is flourishing or on the verge of bankruptcy, depending on how the two people operate? As long as two people take good care of it, the bank’s assets will grow year by year. On the contrary, it will become more and more depleted. Whether it is a dignitary, or working class, or laid off to work; whether it is a newlywed, or an old married couple, can not underestimate the savings on love. Even when married do not understand each other, as long as more deposits less withdrawals, but also to accumulate a fortune; even when married like a glue, a strong, if the income is not enough, the old capital will also be eaten. Two people had a fight, you spend a small amount, if you can give each other a little tenderness and thoughtfulness in time, you can make up for this amount, if anyone does not care about such expenditure, spending up endlessly, this small expenditure will also become a big hole. A party has an affair, this is a big expense, even if the other party does not know for a while, as if the accounts do not show, sooner or later will also come to light; once the other party knows, it will have to endure the “financial crisis”, it is not good to lose all the money. The second aspect of love requires commitment, marriage requires more management. Love needs romance, marriage needs more in the ordinary embellishment; love needs understanding, marriage needs more tolerance. Marriage is not a business. But it also needs to be run like a business. When love walks through the hot love to reach the marriage hall, those hot words, intimate language, mutual mystery is slowly fading. In its place is the mundane little life. These seemingly small things have become the main theme of daily life; in-laws, parents-in-law, aunts and uncles have become the “third party” in the “world of two”. There is no way for us to avoid these in marriage, and it is impossible to avoid them. To learn to enter and take on different roles, you need to constantly accumulate and summarize, in the failure and frustration of their own growth and maturity. The third aspect of marriage requires mutual understanding and tolerance. If your lover is not willing to do housework, why can’t we understand that the other party is too tired due to work? This time, we take the initiative to do more can not? If your lover is in a bad mood, he or she does not show due filial piety in front of the elderly and does not show a certain amount of enthusiasm in front of relatives and friends. Why can’t we understand that the other party has no place to vent their troubles because they are outside? You know, home is originally a haven for life! This time, we more in front of their own elderly, relatives, friends to do the work of explanation why not? This haven needs two people together to build and maintain. Love is the treasure of life, when we use the boat of marriage to carry the treasure of love, our mission is to try to bypass the reef, avoid the wind and waves, and safely reach the destination. Whoever deliberately goes on the wind and waves, certainly can get the pleasure of adventure, but also shows that he does not love the treasure in the boat. A good marriage is to be protected by cherishing. Cherishing is fate, and fate is in cherishing; if the heart of cherishing dies, the fate is over. If we take doing housework as a kind of enjoyment, the attention to each other, understanding each other, forgiving each other, helping each other as their share of responsibility, the management of love, remember each other’s birthday, occasionally send a bouquet of flowers, write a marriage diary as a daily life, find ways to add some romance to married life, add some care. Then, our married life will be a lot more colorful! Marriage comes from the moment to moment, every aspect of daily life, little by little, a gentle words of love, a warm cup of hot tea, a heartfelt humor, an argument when the concessions …… so carefully managed love flowers will bloom more and more beautiful. We will definitely be able to hold hands with our loved ones and grow old with them!