1 .Family discord
Adults do not know how to be humble, often blame each other. In fact, whether parents quarrel, or parents and the elderly do not get along, for children are psychologically lightning and thunder, rain and snow, but suffering from their own age is still young, unable to do anything, so they have to hide in the corner of the secret sobbing. A harmonious family atmosphere is like sufficient sunshine and water for the growth of children. The relationship between parents is the child’s weather, the child’s mind is still very young, bad weather not only prevent the child’s physical and mental health growth, often also leaves a lifelong psychological shadow. Building a warm and loving family is the responsibility of parents to their children.
2. Parental character
The teacher just talked about the beauty of language, go home to hear adults cursing the street; classroom just suffered from public morality education, parents littering, picking up money not handed over to the public. The progress of civilization, so that children in the public morality and cultivation of the starting point than parents, then let parents put down the parental frame, to learn from the children, which is the result of the development of the times and trends, nothing embarrassing, in fact, parents need to learn from the children are still more.
3, parents do not play with their own
Childhood children love to play together as a family, but unfortunately, there are not many opportunities to do so. Adults have their own world and entertainment, and in China, playing with children has traditionally been considered optional. It’s wonderful to spend more time with your children, to play with them, to watch them change and grow up day by day, but when they reach puberty or get older, there will be fewer opportunities to do so, so it’s better to enjoy the joy of God while you can. The more civilized the society and class, the more important it is to get along with the family.
4. No plea
There is no chance to appeal, if you insist on pleading, you will be regarded as a backtalker and offender and will be severely punished. This is a typical manifestation of feudal patriarchy, the opposite of the spirit of equality and democracy, which is more harmful than anything else! Imagine how our beloved children will face their lives if they are used to adapting to injustice, if they have no more ideas than to seek permission? Raising a child who is rational and has the courage to express his or her opinion is far more important than saving the face of adults.
5, the parents’ bad habits or habits
Smoke, alcohol, mahjong sound, the other side of bad habits is bad character, adults drink too much wine, mahjong lost, the last to suffer is their own. Bad habits, not only bring family troubles, but more importantly, their own bodies are extremely harmful. No matter how many years that habit has lasted, or bite the bullet and quit it, there is no habit that can not be changed, only people who do not want to change!
6, parents do
Whether it’s dressing, scheduling, or making friends, choosing interest classes, you can’t make your own decisions. The adults’ explanation is always: what do children know, it is for your own good. The phenomenon of parents taking care of things is very common in China, either because parents are relieved, or because they think their own ideas are correct and important. For making friends, we should give them the principle of guidance, but it is best not to interfere with the specific, in fact, what kind of friends have what kind of benefits, learning bad friends may be bold, brains live, but also can enrich the child’s character, we adults are not what friends to have?
7, language injury
Adults do not choose their words, I do not know “good words three winter warm, bad words hurt people in June cold”, if you are not a child, you can never know what it is like to be scolded by parents, demeaning. Even in the face of their own children, do not speak without choice, the younger the child, the more dependent they are on their parents’ comments, negative comments, bad mood is very harmful to children, in fact, the same sentence, there are different angles and ways to say, kindness and encouragement angle, than blame and belittlement can play a more positive effect.
8 .Study, examination
Learning to live, learning to live, without the freedom and fun of childhood as it should be; exams are good for fear of being proud, exams are not good “tonight there is a snowstorm”. Parents of children’s desire for excellent results is understandable, but the question is, how to really help children, in fact, most parents of children’s requirements and supervision, and did not play a role in the effect of the effort is not pleasing.
9 .No privacy
Diary was read, school bag was turned over is a common occurrence, in order to completely monitor us, parents and adults in the strong wisdom, when the weak attack, but also the beautiful name: the higher review. Tell a story, there is a girl, parents afraid of her love to go astray, inseparable, confiscated the cell phone, parents take turns escorting the child home from school, the child was locked in the room, the girl for this produced a great resistance, to give adults a little “color” to see, the result is the strictest parental supervision, the girl pregnant. When the reporter interviewed, the girl said: “The phone turned in, I can borrow a classmate, I have a key to the house, he arrived at my home downstairs, the phone call to me, I threw the key down from the window, he opened the door to my home, and then I went out. It didn’t work at all for my parents to lock me in the house. The more they ‘imprison’ me, I have to give them some color, my pregnancy is to give them the ‘color’, they ‘forced’ out. ” This is the reality of a very painful true story. Not to mention the disrespect for the child in this way, on the matter itself, custody and monitoring, not only ineffective and dangerous, the so-called “no plug not flow, more than not”. So, no monitoring, how to do? The most effective way to build a child’s reasonable attitude and values, in short, what parents can do is to teach their children to choose, rather than monitor, replace and force children to choose.
10, suspected of wrongdoing
Examinations, essays scored high marks were suspected of copying; vase broken, money less than their younger siblings crying, was thought to be their own doing; their own good intentions to do a good thing, do a smash, or not yet done, it was mistaken for naughty hard criticism. No investigation has no right to speak, even if the child is naughty, do not know what to do, have a “history”, we should find out the truth before, should also be hidden in the heart of the doubt, do not easily ask the teacher, the taste of being wronged can be unpleasant, such behavior is a great distrust and disrespect for children. Think about the taste of our friends or leaders suspected and wronged, we will know how distressed the child inside.
11, parental breach of trust
Promised things are denied or greatly discounted or delayed indefinitely, regardless of how much they look forward to it and how long they have been looking forward to it. There are two obvious negative effects of a parent’s breach of trust: one, the parent’s prestige is greatly reduced, and the parent’s prestige is the basis of education; second, the parent’s breach of trust sets a negative example for the child, you do not count on your word, it is difficult to ask and expect the child to count on your word, as long as you can not fully monitor, the child’s breach of trust may exist at any time.
12. Not being respected
The model your child built is thrown away, the wall painting you put up is torn up, the small animal you keep is given away or eaten. The parents will tell everyone about the embarrassing things they did. A big reason why children are not respected is because the parents themselves were not respected by their parents when they were young. Parents who do not know how to maintain their children’s self-esteem are the most failed parents.
13, lack of tolerance and understanding
Children are still young, immature thinking ability and physical ability, many times make mistakes, trouble is far from the child’s intention, but the child does not get the proper tolerance and understanding. Chinese people generally lack the spirit of experimentation, a large reason is because of the early years, failed attempts are not tolerated and encouraged, and thus afraid to try. It is recommended that parents and friends tolerate their children’s unintentional faults and encourage them to try their ideas, although they may not be successful, but they will have the opportunity to grow.