It is also important not to assume that lack of ejaculatory control is always a problem. Whether or not it is a problem depends on the couple and the situation. For example, there are couples in which the man usually ejaculates quickly, but no one feels uncomfortable. If they are satisfied, they don’t have to bother to change. There are also many men who cannot control their ejaculation in front of a new partner. The first few times he has intercourse, he always ejaculates quickly. But then he is able to control it again. For such a short period of time, there seems to be little need for practice. The man may explain to his partner that his ejaculation control will get better after a while, or he may delay having sex with her until he feels better. For this type of man, the main problem lies elsewhere. It is usually related to the current situation (e.g., he feels nervous in front of a new partner, or angry, guilty, etc.) and needs to be resolved before ejaculation control can be regained. So feel free to do the exercises, but take some time to think about what your real problem is. A program to develop ejaculatory control Improving ejaculatory control requires learning two new skills, one of which is the ability to focus more on your feelings such as sexual arousal and tension, and the second is the ability to change your behavior in order to prevent or delay ejaculation. The best way to increase awareness is to focus on the part of the body where feelings of sexual arousal/tension are most intense. For most men, this part is the penis or scrotum. You need to know the point at which sexual tension/arousal becomes inevitable. It is before the point of inevitability is reached that you need to do something to control your ejaculation. Men who have good ejaculation control learn it later in life, but usually don’t know it themselves. All of us, with or without ejaculatory control, learn to control other reflexes. Peeing is perhaps the closest analogy. At a certain point in childhood, your parents make you understand that it is wrong to pee in your pants. You gradually learn to recognize the signals your body sends when you are about to pee and will tell others that you want to go to the bathroom. You can know what’s going to happen, but you can’t delay it. Over time, you complete your training. Not only do you know when it’s time to pee, but you can also exercise control and delay it. If you’re playing a game or watching TV and you want to pee, you can contract your muscles, shake left and right, or just grab your crotch and hold it in for at least a little while. Before you do the exercise, you need to make some instructions and stipulate some principles. The structure of all physical exercises is similar: while you stimulate your penis yourself or your partner, you need to do two things – pay attention to your own sexual arousal/tension level and stop the action or do something else to maintain ejaculation control. Repeat this over and over again and you will learn more about your control zone and expand it. In this way, you will be able to master ejaculatory control.